Reason for my absence.

Hello lovelies, as many of you have seen, it’s been a while since I last posted, so with great sadness and a broken heart, I’d thought I’d let you know why.

My Dad was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer on the 24th of December 2015.

Some of you may know that a pancreatic cancer diagnosis is not good, the chance of survival is next to none, unless you are lucky enough to be a candidate for the Whipple operation but to get to that stage you must endure chemotherapy and radiotherapy and Hope that the tumour shrinks and doesn’t spread.

The chemotherapy started on the 18th of February 2016, my mum’s birthday!

My Dad went through this without complaint, then there was radiotherapy.

This continued up until the tumour had shrunk enough for my Dad to be a candidate for the Whipple operation.

This operation is one of the biggest operations to undertake, I won’t go into detail, all I will say is that the operation took 10 hours.

My dad wanted this operation as it was a life extension of hopefully 5 to 10 years, without it he wouldn’t have got a year.

My dad walked into the hospital on the 15th of August 2016 , their wedding anniversary.

The operation itself went well and he was doing good, apart from a fall in the hospital toilet, as he was left unaided!

2 weeks after the Whipple operation he took a massive bleed that resulted in another surgery and another surgery the following day, my dad then spent the next 3 and a half weeks in Intensive care 😢

We sat by his bedside day and night willing and praying and hoping that he’d pull through, and he did ❤

I thought our prayers had been answered, I was wrong 😦

I won’t go into to much detail but some of you may have seen my anger on twitter at the lack of care my dad received, we couldn’t have shouted any louder.

My dad was left unable to walk and brain-damaged 😢 he never made it home after the operation and sadly he passed away on the 24th of February with my mother and brother and myself by his side 💔

We can hopefully lay him to rest next week as this was delayed due to the procurator fiscal being involved as none of the doctors would sign his death certificate.

We got a temporary cause of death from the procurator fiscal and can register his death tomorrow, but it’s pending investigation 😢 we won’t know the real cause of his death for 6 to 8 week’s.

The only thing that’s keeping me going just now is knowing that he isn’t suffering anymore.

My heart is breaking 💔


46 thoughts on “Reason for my absence.

  1. So very sorry to hear of the circumstances around your Dad’s death. How terrible for you and your family. No words,I know, can give you any real comfort, but I hope you will find some peace and be grateful for having a very special dad in your life. Sending love xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am so sorry to hear the sad news. Nothing I say can give you comfort. I can however pray for you and your family to make this time a bit easier for you. I do know how hard it is to lose someone loved. I lost my dad in February 4 years ago. think of how brave he was and all the good times you had with him. Celebrate his life!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m so sorry to hear. Thank you for sharing. I have worked as Pediatric Intensive Care nurse for years, so I’ve seen a lot in the hospital setting. I pray your family will find the peace you all need. Bless your heart. ❤️​

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am very sorry for your loss. My dad went through a similar thing. He did not survive either. It is a rough place to be in–anger and grief all wrapped up in one. Sending you happy thoughts!!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. So sorry to hear your loss! My heartfelt coundolescense to you and your family. As you said, he is no longer in pain anymore, in fact the exact opposite. Time will heal love, until then do not loose hope and live your life to the fullest. I’m sure he would want that anyway 🙂 hugs and kisses coming my way ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sorry to hear the sad news not only about your Father passing, but with what he, you, and your loved ones had to go through, all that pain and suffering.
    Your sharing with us, make us wishing you and end to your pain, please accept my condolences, and best wishes, for you and loved ones.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Such a heartbreaking post. I’m so sorry you and your family (and your dad too) had to go through all this uncertainty and pain, and for no gain in the end. I hope time will help to heal some of the wounds you all are suffering. It was a small comfort that you could be with your dad at the end. I hope that his funeral was a chance for you to celebrate his life.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I lost my mom to Pancreatic Cancer six years ago. I miss her every day. I’ve read about your Dad and hope that you and your family find peace after such a difficult and painful time.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Sorry for your loss. My father had bladder cancer and went through the surgery okay we all thought. The heart monitor they had hooked him up to was faulty and as they unhooked the monitor they lost him haven big to shock his a total of 6 times to bring him back. By that time his body had begun to shut down and he stayed in ICU and hospital for 3 weeks waiting to expire. Very sad but it was a blessing that I was able to be at his side when he passed. It has been 15 years this year and I miss him but know that he is no longer suffering. 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw lovely ❤ I’m so sorry to hear that about your beloved father 😢 like you I was glad that I was by his side too ❤
      I’m still angry, still haven’t received the official death certificate as his death is going to a fatal accident inquiry 😢 It’s been very difficult trying to cope and not being able to grieve, does all sorts to my mental health! Like your dad, they are not suffering anymore and that’s what is keeping me going.. ❤ xo

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s very hard to go through things like this. With time it does get easier to accept but it never leaves you. I was blessed to be at my mothers side as well when she expired and that was 7 years ago and very hard for me. I lost my sister only 29 days prior to cancer but was unable to be at her side because was caring for my mother. I pray things will becomes easier for you and you are allowed to grieve for the loss of your wonderful father.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Aw lovely, you have been through so much 😢 this life can be beautiful but very, very cruel! Big hugs ❤
        I never thought I would get personal but I think it’s important to share our stories, I’ve always said that you should be kind to everyone as you never know what someone has been through, going through! We are all good at putting a face on for other’s and sharing the good, pretty things in life, when in truth most of us are going through a difficult time.
        Big HUGS ❤ xo

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I have no words, what happened must have come as such a shock and I am not surprised you’d be angry for the lack of decent care he received. I’m so, so sorry – I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be. As you said though, he is no longer suffering, he’ll know how much you all loved him and that you were there for him. Sending hugs to you and your family.xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much lovely for taking the time to comment ❤ I’m still angry, very angry 😡 as my dad’s death is going to a fatal accident inquiry!
      It’s been very difficult. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

      • I am sure anyone would feel beyond angry in that situation. You just have to get through things as best you can, and not make yourself feel worse bottling up the anger, resentment, sadness. Reach out, vent, do whatever you need to do. Hugs xx

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Hey, thanks for visiting my blog today. I thought I would take a peek at yours and came across this post. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in 2013 to thyroid cancer after 18 months of chemo, multiple surgeries, and a lot of hoping and praying, so I know what you’re going through. All the best. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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